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Tim Dowling: all the new puppy wants to do is eat and pee – anytime, anywhere

Food is Jean’s obsession, to the extent that the tortoise has serious concerns about his supply of lettuce

Thanks to a strict system of positive reinforcement, the little dog has learned that it’s good to pee outside. Unfortunately it still has no idea that it’s bad to pee inside. It could be that the distinction between inside and outside has been made insufficiently clear. Or it could be that our negative reinforcement is simply ineffective.

“This is, frankly, an outrage,” I say to the little dog, after finding yet another puddle of piss in the sitting room. The dog, who I’ve located in the kitchen, has no idea what I’m talking about. It sits up, tiny tail thumping against the floor, waiting to be rewarded for something it has inadvertently done right.

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