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The Icelandic love secret: should we all try ‘sex before coffee’?

Sex is no big deal in a country that has a penis museum. But would this approach work for other, shyer, nations?

‘Sex before coffee” is the go-to cliche of Scandinavian romantic habits, but in each country it means something different. In Sweden, it’s shorthand for quite an upfront, efficient dating style. Only in Iceland is it meant literally: whatever happens – whether you end up having coffee another day, or more sex, or moving in together, or pretending it never happened – any possible romantic permutation will start with sex rather than a date.

If you’re wondering about how that deal gets done with no preamble, remember that Iceland’s population, a little under 400,000, is only a smidge larger than that of one of London’s biggest boroughs. “Something that defines Icelandic dating culture is that you’re not really out looking for someone, because you already know them,” says Völundur, 26, a graphic designer I meet in a burger bar in downtown Reykjavik.

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